I’m Not Stupid : I’m Battered

I’ve been called stupid by almost everyone. My family, friends, co-workers, and him. I have to walk on eggshells speaking to others because I fear being judged, and misunderstood. Even though it’s something I’m used to doing at home, it’s something I wish I didn’t have to do outside of it. So many people ask me why I stay, but I hesitate to say because, “ I love him “ and he was just mad because it’s considered an excuse. I’ll be stupid. See, no one seems to take a step back and look at it from my eyes, in my shoes. I’m just stupid. When I say I love him it’s not an excuse, I do, when I say he was just mad, it’s not to justify what he did because it’s the truth. It only happens when he’s mad, because when things are good, they’re great. When he calms down, and realizes what he has done he apologizes, then goes and gets me my favorite flowers. He uses those same lips to make me feel loved, after they have made me feel so low. His hands no longer become a reminder of why I have to wear long sleeves in the summer, but why I fell in love with him in the first place. He has tried to change and did good for two weeks then I got him mad. If I was just a better woman things would be better between us. If I would of just respected him and shut up when he asked me, we wouldn’t have been in that situation. I can’t tell you how many arguments I have had with people who supposedly love me ! But judge me . Call me stupid instead of trying to understand me . They say I’m taking up for him, and choosing him over myself, and everyone else but they just don’t understand. Those other girls don’t mean anything to him, he always comes back home to me. He’s not like this all the time, it’s always more good than bad, he always says sorry, and promises me that it won’t ever happen again! It’s not mental abuse , nor is it emotional.. everyone’s just jealous. I’m not stupid, I’m in love.  

“From a battered woman mind”

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